Your prayers have been answered!... I’m back and ready for some pokemon action! I think these posts will be a little bit shorter though as I feel I’ve exhausted most of the jokes I had for pokemon. Anyway, todays contestants ARE:
Reshiram, Zekrom and Desukan!
Reshiram and Zekrom: Arguably the best pokemon this time around. Based off of Japanese for zero (don’t ask me why) -rei, and shiramu-to become white, or light. Beautiful and graceful in appearance it represents half of the yin and yang symbol in Chinese Taoism. True to the concept of yin and yang, reshiram has traits of both. Though it is feminine and light like yin, it is also a fire type pokemon as the fire associated yang. Its counterpart Zekrom (English zero +kuromu-turning black or tinged with darkness) is it’s opposite, possessing mostly yang characteristics including masculinity and aggressiveness yet it too possesses traits of the opposite side, like darkness. In fact, Zekrom is to be found in pokemon white and Reshiram is to be found in pokemon black. Now if only they made each game shaped like a half a yinyang symbol-then you could fit them together and have complete harmony. And in case you hadn’t noticed, this is all Nintendo’s ploy to get you to buy both games. After all, you need both games, or else there will be no harmony in your life! Pokemon black and pokemon white must exist in balance as yin and yang! (side note: every time I hear yin and yang now, I think of murder-thanks a lot Psych!)
Otherwise, nicely done Nintendo!
Desukan: Oh dear… We nearly forgot to introduce the grim reaper’s illegitimate child. It was during this trip he took to Egypt to take the life of this really hot Egyptian princess and one thing led to another and… oh… what? You didn’t want to hear the specifics of that? Ok, well, I guess I’ll spare you the details then. Anyway, shortly after having this illegitimate child, he started Death Academy, so… Yeah, he was a little busy with tearing peoples skin off to raise Desukan (Soul Eater ref. btw). Etymology! My favorite part! Usually ‘desu’ would mean the end of a sentence, which I’m sure you’re all wishing would happen right. Now. Unfortunately for you, the ending of a sentence does not always signal the end of a topic discussion. To get back to the point, ‘desu’ is the Japanese adaptation of the English ‘death.’ ‘Kan,’ in turn, is Japanese for ‘coffin.’ Death coffin… for a sarcophagus. That’s almost a good of play on words as my personal favorites, “Koffing” and “Weezing” from the first set of pokemon to exist. I can only imagine how, um, wonderful it’s English name is going to be.
If I could direct your attention to Desukan’s four giant hands,… They’re reaching forward to grab… That paired with its demon-possessed eyes have me pretty convinced that he’s some kind of ancient pedophile.