Chalte Chalte

Horror Film Pokemon



Name: Rankurusu

Now this is a scary picture. It’s like it came straight to the pokemon world from the gates of hell. Either that or it’s a ventriloquist dummy surrounded by a body of blue jell-O. This pokemon is absolutely horror novel material. I really ought to be the first to write about it. Let me start my story with “It was a night like any other… until.” No that’s not right. How about “Now rankurusu was dead. Dead as a classroom of teenagers at 7 in the morning. But that night, as Ebenezer opened the door to his 5th floor flat, the long extinct pokemon inexplicably appeared to haunt him. And from that day on, rankurusu walked the world of pokemon once again.” Now, were you wondering about the name? So was I. Not much substance to the name. It’s just garbage really. No, really. Garbage is in the name. Kuzu is the less common Japanese word for garbage. (for the ku in rankurusu). Or I guess you could say that this pokemon displays a complete absence of brilliance, since ran=brilliant, ku=section, and rusu=absence. On the other hand, it could just be that the Japanese have no idea what a Toyota Land Cruiser looks like (rankuru=land cruiser).
If I were you, I would look in this pokemons black, beady eyes and refuse to capture it.

Squirrel of Lightning!

Horse of the Gods



Name: Shimama

I have mixed emotions about this new pokemon. I definitely like the concept of a lightning horse and the idea fits especially well into a zebra-like pokemon. It’s almost the type of steed I’d expect Zeus to ride in old Greek mythology. But…Yeah, um props to Japanese people for a really original name. After all, shimama sounds nothing like the Japanese for zebra (shimauma). I guess for the English version, we may as well translate it to Zeba. Or maybe, as a cousin to the giraffe pokemon giraffarig, we should call it Zebrarig (just watch-they’ll probably actually name it something stupid like that.)
Next please take a look at this pokemon’s strange multi-colored eyes. Seriously, why is it that all these new pokemon are being heavily drugged? Maybe the pokemon creators are getting bored. Seriously, like I said-I like the concept of this pokemon, but as far as appearance I’ve seen much better fan drawings of Shimama while google searching.
Now, how about its name? Shima means stripe, and ma? Evil. Obviously true. In light of this, I think we can all agree Zeba is a striped demon. Possibly even the antichrist (step aside Obama!)
On the other hand, give the guy a break. After all, Shima could also mean ‘territory of an organized crime gang.’ Clearly that would be preferable to a zebra antichrist! Yes kids, as long as you’re a criminal and not the antichrist, everything will be okay. Ma could be a shortened form of Maa which is basically “Oh!” or “Wow!”
“Wow! This pokemon is a bad example for children!”
Still, I like the idea of this pokemon-it just needs a new name and a different appearance.

The Legend of Zorro(a)



Name: Zoroa

According to my main resource, cerebii.net, this pokemons name is supposed to be a Zorua. However, the Japanese text for the pokemon is clearly ZorOa with an O. So there! Assuming the rest of the site’s information is correct, Zoroa is an ‘evil fox pokemon.’ This statement seems a little redundant. Aren’t all foxes evil? Sure they’re cute, but think back to those beloved childhood stories-foxes are ALWAYS evil. Ok, except for the fox and the hound, and yeah, the Disney Robin Hood-but whose counting those? And you could definitely say Zoroa’s appearance lives up to his description. He does look pretty evil… But I must say- I really like this new pokemon. It has all the makings of a 1st generation or 2nd generation species. In Japanese, Zorori (similar to Zoroa) can either mean “dressed sloppily” or “overdressed for the occasion” (oh those Japanese and their faulty logic). Indeed, the Japanese were right-apparently Zoroa didn’t get the notice mandating the appearance of all new pokemon to be cheesy and/or strange.
And, of course, there’s Zoroa’s secret identity. Imagine you’re Team Rocket, minding your own business, stealing pokemon, just the usual. And out of nowhere, a masked hero (although by the look in his eyes, he could also be a thief-then again what do you know? You’re just a member of Team Rocket-and everyone knows all members are required to be extremely stupid. Oh no, wait, that was the whole pokemon world) slashes a Z on your back. It’s Zorro! I mean, Zoroa. Yes! Believe it! Our beloved Zorro is actually a pokemon. Which makes perfect sense really. After all, Zorro is Spanish for fox.
Please sword fight a Zoroa at your own convenience. It should prove to be a challenge. All this pokemon needs is some boots, a cape, and a hat. Zoroa! In Boots!

Puberty Pokemon



"Kaiba: By the way did you find out what’s wrong with Mokuba?

The Closet Ballerina Pokemon




Name: Swana
Etymology will come first today. I’ll tell ya- I had a really tough time with the etymology of THIS pokemon… I mean- Swana. What could that possibly mean???
Swan dive! Into the worst joke of your life! Look at Swana, now look at your favorite pokemon, and back to Swana. Thankfully, your favorite pokemon is NOT Swana, but if your favorite pokemon participated in too many productions of Swan Lake it could BE like Swana. Look down, now back up. You are now surrounded by a herd of Swana you rejected for the swan lake ballet you’re producing. What’s that in your hand? I’ve got it-it’s your EYE now detached from its socket due to the Swana’s inability to take rejection. I’m on a Ponyta.
Anyways, I’m going to bet there aren’t any male versions of this pokemon. And either way let’s just say we’re going to have a very hard time continuing this species. Unless they create Swana sperm banks or genetically engineer themselves or something. However, pray they do not discover this advanced technology in order to accelerate their extinction.

Award for Least Original Pokemon So Far



Name: Mamepato
Congratulations pokemon creators. You have a grasp of the obvious. Mamepato is no more than a pigeon with a nickname. I mean, maybe pigeons are strange, foreign animals to the Japanese, but in America, they infest every inch of park, statue, and phone line.
Though I have been referring to this pokemon as a pigeon thus far, I am now going to blow your mind. Due to completely unreliable sources, I now believe this pokemon to be a small duck disguised as a pigeon. Its name directly points to this fact. The ‘mame’ in mamepato in this case is likely to mean small. Now, I suppose it could also be the food group legume, but I’m going to guess not. Pato proved to be harder to interpret. After setting my trusty hound dog, Google, on the loose, I sniffed out that pato means ‘duck’ in Spanish. Please don’t ask me to explain why the Japanese would decide to use Spanish in a pokemon name, or why in the world they would classify this creature as a duck when it is clearly a pigeon. That’s just what I found. And besides, the Japanese word for bread, which is ‘pan’, borrows from the Spanish language in which the word for bread is also ‘pan.’ So there!
So you still refuse this argument huh? Fine. I also decided to explore the possibility that pato could in fact be shortened from it’s original meaning. Closest match ended up being ‘patosu.’ In Japanese, ‘patosu’ means ‘pathos’ (it’s one of those Japanisized American words), and do you know what pathos means? According to the dictionary: 1 something that evokes feelings of pity and compassion 2 pity 3 suffering.
This pokemon 1 evokes feelings of pity and … ok maybe not compassion… (I mean, who wouldn’t pity this poor, useless, and hopelessly unoriginal pokemon? Not to mention his creator who may have already lost his job?)
2[this pokemon] is really pitiful;
and 3 merely looking at this pokemon is causing me to suffer.
Note: only capture if you are over the age of 50 and searching for a companion to throw bread at.

So Much Kawaii!



Name: Munna
Holy crap! Did I just have a kawaii* enduced ceisure?! Oh wait, no-that was just the new pokemon named Munna. Remember the embryo pokemon in last week’s post? Well,… I am sorry to say this is its pre-evolved form. I have yet to understand why this pokemon would EVOLVE into a fetus. I guess it’s just a Benjamin Button thing. Whatever. In any case, I am happy to say that this pokemon is a couple of large steps up from its fetus, but I’m also not going to seal it with complete approval.

*kawaii means cute in Japanese (not to be confused with kowai, which means scary).

Moving on to etymology. Just to get us started, ‘na’ (used at the end of ‘munna’) is used to indicate emphasis in the Japanese language. Therefore I will be adding an exclamation point at the end of every sentence, starting now! Munna could possibly be a play on the Japanese word ‘munmun!’ In one sense, munmun could be the onomatopoeia for stuffy; as in ‘this pokemon is so dang cute it’s suffocating me!’ Just look at the thing! It is abnormally and overbearingly adorable! According to specialists, the kawaii factor is way off the charts! In another sense, it could also mean ‘woman’s desire!’ This pokemon is, after all, a dream pokemon! Atleast that’s what I thought until I reread its description! It is in fact a “dream-stealer” pokemon! And ladies, it’s coming to eat all your desires! Therefore do not be fooled by its kawaii appearance-it is here to take your happiness! And according to its name it doesn’t care about the men! What a sexist pokemon! What are the Japanese trying to teach their youths for God’s sake?!?
Whether you decide to catch this cross between a piggybank and an anteater is up to you. Personally, I am thinking of boycotting it. Even if it is almost too cute to resist…

It's been a long time since I've really played any pokemon games and I surprise myself with the sudden interest, but let me just say-it's all my little brothers fault.

Perhaps you didn't know this about me, but I'm an avid Sailor Moon fan. While I was running around yelling ‘Moon Prism Power!’ and ‘Moon Spiral Heart Attack!’, my brother was throwing pokeballs. Not that I wasn’t a pokemon fan in my own right. I loved the games and the show, up until the dawn of Hoenn in the Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald games. For no apparent reason, pokemon began to look less like pokemon and more like regular animals, or poorly reconstructed animals from a 5-year-old’s imagination. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. One region, two versions, the destruction of a beloved game series in the minds of children everywhere.

My brother, being the dedicated fan he was, and still is, stuck with the games and continued to stick with the series beyond it’s popular death. It is only because of him that I learned about the new game to be released in Japan in the fall and America sometime next spring. The name of the region is Isshu, the game versions black and white, holding significance because of it’s yin and yang theme. In fact, like the actual symbol, the black version contains a white legendary pokemon, and conversely, the white version contains a black legendary pokemon. It actually sounds kind of interesting, as it’s one of the first metropolitan based regions and HELLO, it reportedly has an airport. Finally we don’t have to fly from town to town on the backs of freakishly large birds.*

However, upon seeing the pictures of new pokemon for the series, I couldn’t help but dedicate a series of posts to critiquing these new species.

*It has not yet been firmly established that you can fly on the planes, but there is an airport, so it’s fairly likely-cross your fingers

Award for Second Least Original Pokemon Yet (1st to be revealed next week)



Name: "Minezumi" -please keep in mind there are not yet any English names- all posted names will be the Japanese ones
Okay so first of all, whoever in the world designed this "thing" has been watching one too many Looney Tunes episodes. In fact it's highly likely that instead of being designed, it jumped out of a television one Sunday afternoon in pokemon world, mistakenly classified as some new strange pokemon. Pokemon experts believe the new being to be on heavy drugs.
Can I also point out this strange "pokemon"'s name? Minezumi... Minezumi... Hmm where have I heard that before? Oh yeah! Nezumi means mouse in Japanese. I can't be sure about what mi would mean, but the most likely meanings include beautiful, the number 3, and -ness. Obviously we can rule out the first theory since we all know that meth addicts are almost never "beautiful." Meaning three also seems unlikely unless this pokemon is somehow able to multiply itself (not such an unlikely theory considering the animal jumped out of Looney Tunes). But personally I prefer the third theory which is "-ness" meaning the creature's full name in English would be "mouseness." And as we know, anything with '-ness' on the end automatically makes it ten times better (sadly not compensating for the drugged animal's appearance). Hear that American translators? Minezumi has already been named-no need to go to any further trouble.
Everyone, please welcome "Mouseness" into the world of pokemon. After capturing the beast, be sure to drown him and tactfully destroy the evidence.

Best Pokemon for “Seasonal” Use



Name: Shikijika
First of all, I apologize for the terrible pun (This statement will make sense in a few minutes). Shikijika was a pleasant contrast to the other Isshu pokemon freaks I’ve witnessed in the last 24 hours. It is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. I love deer, and though this pokemon might not be completely original, it has distinctly unique qualities. The picture of shikijika above is actually only it’s “spring form.” As it turns out, the new game will feature different seasons every month or so, and shikijika will change it’s coat according to the season. Given, this isn’t much of a surprise considering ‘Shiki’ means ‘four seasons’ in Japanese.
Disclaimer: please do not confuse this pokemon with the high end hotel and resort chain. Shikijika is a pokemon, and will not provide free rooms after capture.
It will, however, change colors, which is pretty darn amazing.
Be nice to any Shikijika’s you may find on your pokemon journey as they have received a pass in my book.

This Pokemon Should be Banned



Name: Musharna
Um, what idiot decided that a fetus would make a great pokemon? I mean, sure, most kids won’t recognize it for what it is, but I can’t help feeling this pokemon could bump the rating from E to M. Pokemon creators, please stop taking it upon yourself to educate kids in the ‘wonders’ of life. Concerning the pokemon’s name, Sharna means bodhisattva, which is apparently some type of enlightened being in Buddhism. Siddartha Gotama,, for example, achieved bodhisattvaism (I am not sure if this is even a word, but you get the idea). As far as the first part goes, I’m not so sure that it has much of a meaning, but if it did, it could be a play on the word mushuku, which means Homeless. Let’s hope that it stays that way and you don’t decide to capture it.
All in all, this homeless, enlightened fetus of a pokemon is most definitely a fail.

More pokemon to come next week :)
~Ashley Q

Current tune: Genie by SNSD (Girls Generation)

Well, summer’s almost over. It was a fun summer but I am very excited to go back to school. What did I do this summer? Mainly I got my left foot operated on (right to be done during Christmas break), and I have been recovering from that for a majority of the summer. More importantly though, having so much free time this summer has allowed me to explore myself. Mainly my talents and what I want to do with them. It’s taken me nearly the whole summer, but I’m in the process of creating a 20 page manga. Something that I would have normally given up on after a week has been a huge part of my days. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m so determined to finish something for once in my life. And not simply to finish this one short manga- but to continue doing this for the rest of my life. Supplies for this have definitely drained down my bank balance, but following through with something for once is worth spending any amount on. Future mangaka? I can only hope-and work my butt off.  In any case, I’m going to see this through to the end, no matter how many times I try to change my mind.

Whether the reason for pursuing a life as a mangaka, or the outcome, I’ve also been spending a lot of time submerged in Japanese culture. I’ve been watching quite a few animes, reading quite a few mangas, and my Japanese has been slowly improving. And so, I can’t stop thinking about going to Japan-living there for a while. And whenever that is I’m really looking forward to it. Especially Japanese baths which are absolutely amazing.

Anyway, so like I said, summer’s almost over. I’m a little worried that I won’t have time to work on mangas, but still, I hold a lot of hopes for the coming semester. I think it might be the best one yet. Can’t wait to be with all my friends again and resume an exciting college life in Southern California.

Even if I STILL don’t have a car… haha oh well

Happy last days of summer,

Ashley Q

:)