Chalte Chalte

The Closet Ballerina Pokemon




Name: Swana
Etymology will come first today. I’ll tell ya- I had a really tough time with the etymology of THIS pokemon… I mean- Swana. What could that possibly mean???
Swan dive! Into the worst joke of your life! Look at Swana, now look at your favorite pokemon, and back to Swana. Thankfully, your favorite pokemon is NOT Swana, but if your favorite pokemon participated in too many productions of Swan Lake it could BE like Swana. Look down, now back up. You are now surrounded by a herd of Swana you rejected for the swan lake ballet you’re producing. What’s that in your hand? I’ve got it-it’s your EYE now detached from its socket due to the Swana’s inability to take rejection. I’m on a Ponyta.
Anyways, I’m going to bet there aren’t any male versions of this pokemon. And either way let’s just say we’re going to have a very hard time continuing this species. Unless they create Swana sperm banks or genetically engineer themselves or something. However, pray they do not discover this advanced technology in order to accelerate their extinction.

Award for Least Original Pokemon So Far



Name: Mamepato
Congratulations pokemon creators. You have a grasp of the obvious. Mamepato is no more than a pigeon with a nickname. I mean, maybe pigeons are strange, foreign animals to the Japanese, but in America, they infest every inch of park, statue, and phone line.
Though I have been referring to this pokemon as a pigeon thus far, I am now going to blow your mind. Due to completely unreliable sources, I now believe this pokemon to be a small duck disguised as a pigeon. Its name directly points to this fact. The ‘mame’ in mamepato in this case is likely to mean small. Now, I suppose it could also be the food group legume, but I’m going to guess not. Pato proved to be harder to interpret. After setting my trusty hound dog, Google, on the loose, I sniffed out that pato means ‘duck’ in Spanish. Please don’t ask me to explain why the Japanese would decide to use Spanish in a pokemon name, or why in the world they would classify this creature as a duck when it is clearly a pigeon. That’s just what I found. And besides, the Japanese word for bread, which is ‘pan’, borrows from the Spanish language in which the word for bread is also ‘pan.’ So there!
So you still refuse this argument huh? Fine. I also decided to explore the possibility that pato could in fact be shortened from it’s original meaning. Closest match ended up being ‘patosu.’ In Japanese, ‘patosu’ means ‘pathos’ (it’s one of those Japanisized American words), and do you know what pathos means? According to the dictionary: 1 something that evokes feelings of pity and compassion 2 pity 3 suffering.
This pokemon 1 evokes feelings of pity and … ok maybe not compassion… (I mean, who wouldn’t pity this poor, useless, and hopelessly unoriginal pokemon? Not to mention his creator who may have already lost his job?)
2[this pokemon] is really pitiful;
and 3 merely looking at this pokemon is causing me to suffer.
Note: only capture if you are over the age of 50 and searching for a companion to throw bread at.

So Much Kawaii!



Name: Munna
Holy crap! Did I just have a kawaii* enduced ceisure?! Oh wait, no-that was just the new pokemon named Munna. Remember the embryo pokemon in last week’s post? Well,… I am sorry to say this is its pre-evolved form. I have yet to understand why this pokemon would EVOLVE into a fetus. I guess it’s just a Benjamin Button thing. Whatever. In any case, I am happy to say that this pokemon is a couple of large steps up from its fetus, but I’m also not going to seal it with complete approval.

*kawaii means cute in Japanese (not to be confused with kowai, which means scary).

Moving on to etymology. Just to get us started, ‘na’ (used at the end of ‘munna’) is used to indicate emphasis in the Japanese language. Therefore I will be adding an exclamation point at the end of every sentence, starting now! Munna could possibly be a play on the Japanese word ‘munmun!’ In one sense, munmun could be the onomatopoeia for stuffy; as in ‘this pokemon is so dang cute it’s suffocating me!’ Just look at the thing! It is abnormally and overbearingly adorable! According to specialists, the kawaii factor is way off the charts! In another sense, it could also mean ‘woman’s desire!’ This pokemon is, after all, a dream pokemon! Atleast that’s what I thought until I reread its description! It is in fact a “dream-stealer” pokemon! And ladies, it’s coming to eat all your desires! Therefore do not be fooled by its kawaii appearance-it is here to take your happiness! And according to its name it doesn’t care about the men! What a sexist pokemon! What are the Japanese trying to teach their youths for God’s sake?!?
Whether you decide to catch this cross between a piggybank and an anteater is up to you. Personally, I am thinking of boycotting it. Even if it is almost too cute to resist…