Chalte Chalte

It's been a long time since I've really played any pokemon games and I surprise myself with the sudden interest, but let me just say-it's all my little brothers fault.

Perhaps you didn't know this about me, but I'm an avid Sailor Moon fan. While I was running around yelling ‘Moon Prism Power!’ and ‘Moon Spiral Heart Attack!’, my brother was throwing pokeballs. Not that I wasn’t a pokemon fan in my own right. I loved the games and the show, up until the dawn of Hoenn in the Ruby, Sapphire, and Emerald games. For no apparent reason, pokemon began to look less like pokemon and more like regular animals, or poorly reconstructed animals from a 5-year-old’s imagination. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did. One region, two versions, the destruction of a beloved game series in the minds of children everywhere.

My brother, being the dedicated fan he was, and still is, stuck with the games and continued to stick with the series beyond it’s popular death. It is only because of him that I learned about the new game to be released in Japan in the fall and America sometime next spring. The name of the region is Isshu, the game versions black and white, holding significance because of it’s yin and yang theme. In fact, like the actual symbol, the black version contains a white legendary pokemon, and conversely, the white version contains a black legendary pokemon. It actually sounds kind of interesting, as it’s one of the first metropolitan based regions and HELLO, it reportedly has an airport. Finally we don’t have to fly from town to town on the backs of freakishly large birds.*

However, upon seeing the pictures of new pokemon for the series, I couldn’t help but dedicate a series of posts to critiquing these new species.

*It has not yet been firmly established that you can fly on the planes, but there is an airport, so it’s fairly likely-cross your fingers

Award for Second Least Original Pokemon Yet (1st to be revealed next week)



Name: "Minezumi" -please keep in mind there are not yet any English names- all posted names will be the Japanese ones
Okay so first of all, whoever in the world designed this "thing" has been watching one too many Looney Tunes episodes. In fact it's highly likely that instead of being designed, it jumped out of a television one Sunday afternoon in pokemon world, mistakenly classified as some new strange pokemon. Pokemon experts believe the new being to be on heavy drugs.
Can I also point out this strange "pokemon"'s name? Minezumi... Minezumi... Hmm where have I heard that before? Oh yeah! Nezumi means mouse in Japanese. I can't be sure about what mi would mean, but the most likely meanings include beautiful, the number 3, and -ness. Obviously we can rule out the first theory since we all know that meth addicts are almost never "beautiful." Meaning three also seems unlikely unless this pokemon is somehow able to multiply itself (not such an unlikely theory considering the animal jumped out of Looney Tunes). But personally I prefer the third theory which is "-ness" meaning the creature's full name in English would be "mouseness." And as we know, anything with '-ness' on the end automatically makes it ten times better (sadly not compensating for the drugged animal's appearance). Hear that American translators? Minezumi has already been named-no need to go to any further trouble.
Everyone, please welcome "Mouseness" into the world of pokemon. After capturing the beast, be sure to drown him and tactfully destroy the evidence.

Best Pokemon for “Seasonal” Use



Name: Shikijika
First of all, I apologize for the terrible pun (This statement will make sense in a few minutes). Shikijika was a pleasant contrast to the other Isshu pokemon freaks I’ve witnessed in the last 24 hours. It is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE. I love deer, and though this pokemon might not be completely original, it has distinctly unique qualities. The picture of shikijika above is actually only it’s “spring form.” As it turns out, the new game will feature different seasons every month or so, and shikijika will change it’s coat according to the season. Given, this isn’t much of a surprise considering ‘Shiki’ means ‘four seasons’ in Japanese.
Disclaimer: please do not confuse this pokemon with the high end hotel and resort chain. Shikijika is a pokemon, and will not provide free rooms after capture.
It will, however, change colors, which is pretty darn amazing.
Be nice to any Shikijika’s you may find on your pokemon journey as they have received a pass in my book.

This Pokemon Should be Banned



Name: Musharna
Um, what idiot decided that a fetus would make a great pokemon? I mean, sure, most kids won’t recognize it for what it is, but I can’t help feeling this pokemon could bump the rating from E to M. Pokemon creators, please stop taking it upon yourself to educate kids in the ‘wonders’ of life. Concerning the pokemon’s name, Sharna means bodhisattva, which is apparently some type of enlightened being in Buddhism. Siddartha Gotama,, for example, achieved bodhisattvaism (I am not sure if this is even a word, but you get the idea). As far as the first part goes, I’m not so sure that it has much of a meaning, but if it did, it could be a play on the word mushuku, which means Homeless. Let’s hope that it stays that way and you don’t decide to capture it.
All in all, this homeless, enlightened fetus of a pokemon is most definitely a fail.

More pokemon to come next week :)
~Ashley Q